Yep, It’s true, I did I passed my NCLEX and it feels great. But its also weird to accomplish something that I have spent so much time on. I almost feel like my consciousness needed to catch up with what just happened. I still have doubts and hurdles to over come. I have a new job starting soon. I finished my old job. There is still so much too learn, orientation, job training, software training, new people and places, responsibility. It’s very exciting and terrifying at the same time.
I do find comfort in know that it’s a sisterhood and there are plenty of people who have come before me and blazed the trail. I believe I have chosen a unit to work on that will be a good environment with good people and great opportunities. But…. it’s still all new.
Then there’s my BSN program starting in the fall. I am hoping to be able to do the accelerated track but it’s a lot, 15 credits the first semester. And I need to keep my grade point above a 3.0 in order to get in to either of the advance degree programs I’m looking at. Whew, :just keep swimming, just keep swimming,” it’s my new mantra.
Then there’s the doubt in my mind about where do I want to specialize. I always thought I wanted to be a midwife, but after all my life experiences I have learned that sometimes we have an idea about something that doesn’t really match the reality. From everything I know midwifery it is a lifestyle. I am not sure that it matches my personal goals anymore. I want to be able to plan vacations, enjoy my family and grandchildren in the future. Plus I love kids and rally enjoyed my peds rotation so I am considering a pediatric specialty now. I feel conflicted though because the whole reason I went back to school to become an RN was so I could become a midwife. It feels wrong somehow. However, I don’t want to continue doing something if it’s not really what I want anymore. So how can I be sure…. Time will tell, more to come.